Baby Proofing Our House

9 Aug

My friend Lela is coming to visit this weekend with her baby/toddler. I keep calling him a baby, but he’ll be 2 in October, so that makes him a toddler… right? I think? You’ll find out in a minute just how baby clueless I am.

My family had no young children for like 18 whole years. Well, I mean my family that I see most often. First cousins. Second cousins and beyond there were probably some young’ins, but I was never really around them. My brother was the youngest of all us cousins for I think it was 18 years. Now there are two little ones, one who’s almost 3, and one who’s 2 weeks! But I still don’t get to see them that often. And, I’m racking my brain here, but I think the only (close) friend I have who has a child is the one coming to visit this weekend.

I don’t know anything about anything when it comes to kids. How old are they when they start walking? Talking? Driving? What do they eat? What do they watch on TV? Do kids still know how to get to Sesame Street?

So I’ve been bombarding my friend with emails concerning what he will eat and what kind of baby proofing I may need to do. Lol. Lucky for me, we have the puppy, so we already have some baby gates in place and there’s pretty much nothing on the floor or her height that she can get to, which, to me, can only be a step in the right direction for a 2 year old… right? Oh right, but my dog doesn’t stick her paws into electrical sockets (according to Lela, her son doesn’t either, but I did think about it – and obviously asked her). I also realized last night my dog also doesn’t reach for things (it’s that lack of opposable thumbs thing, I think) or open cabinet doors. We have lotttts of cabinet doors.

Lela said to just try to move things 3 feet off the ground. Which is kind of impossible in our guest bedroom unless I take everything off the book shelves. So I decided to just leave things I wouldn’t mind getting tossed around a bit, if it came to that. I do have the bookshelves covered in lace, so maybe that will deter him? Or maybe not. She also says that he doesn’t seek out to destroy things. Really?? Not all boys are like that? Because my brother sure as hell was! I’m pretty sure that’s why I am the way I am with all of my things. I keep my belongings nice because my brother always ruined his (and sometimes mine). Anyway, I started moving breakables up higher, but then I was like, OH NO, what if he reaches up for it and it falls on his head? Oh god. So basically I’ve kind of given up, because I don’t feel like installing 5 foot high floating shelves all around my house in order to keep things from breaking and/or being reached for. Lol. I seriously don’t know how parents do it – how do you permanently baby proof your house?? I’m literally going to have to do just that (the 5 foot high shelf thing) when we have kids. I can’t think of any other possible solution to keeping a child (not a visiting one, but a live-in one) from A – destroying things and B – not hurting themselves on things. LOL but not really because I’m serious.

Food! I asked around and got some suggestions on food he would eat. Lela said he’d “eat anything” which was totally unhelpful because OBVIOUSLY I was going to go out and buy things for him. This is the first baby/toddler/child of any sort that has EVER been in my house (let alone any of the apartments I lived in before). Just like I like to be accommodating for my guests, I need to be baby accommodating, too. Well, to an extent. I’ll let him play with my stuffed animals, but I’m not going to go out and buy him any toys or anything… ok really the only reason I’m not doing that is because I have no idea what’s age appropriate.

Otherwise I totally would.

But I digress. Back to food. As I was shopping for kid friendly foods (according to my research), I realized something interesting: My husband and a 2 year old pretty much have the same taste in food. I ended up buying things that I would buy for my husband if I were going to be out of town and he had to fend for himself. Mac n cheese, yogurt, and cereal. I was going to buy those smilie fries they make, but decided they were disgusting and if he didn’t like them I didn’t want to be stuck eating them. Plus we already have sweet potato fries in the freezer, so I figured he’d probably eat those. Maybe? I think the only thing I actually ended up buying for him, that wasn’t just an excess for my husband’s stockpile, was apple sauce. Oh, and cheese when she told me he’d eat cheese for hours.

Do 2 year olds drink kool-aid? I keep buying packets of kool-aid and don’t think I’ve made a pitcher in like 5 years. So really I’m just looking for an excuse to make me some kool-aid.

Also, I was way too happy when I realized I still have my rubber ducky towels from college. Go me! Kid friendly towels. Oh, and matching nightlight. Score. He better be all “I love these towels and nightlight!”

Or wait, maybe he can’t speak full sentences yet. I guess I’ll take “ducky”.



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